


Gem Wars: Episode IV- A New Hope

by Cole_Phelps



Series: Gem Wars: The Complete Saga [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Help, i told you i'd do this agent66, im trash help, steven universe characters in star wars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cole_Phelps/pseuds/Cole_Phelps
Summary: Basically a Star wars plot with Steven Universe characters because I made a parody of the opera scene from Episode III and it matched the characters and Agent66 suggested that I do the Saga. So, I'm doing it. Just a heads up you are gonna see some different personalities especially with C-3PO, and I think Han too. Speaking of Han. His relationship with Leia isn't a thing I could get around so relationships and relations is out of whack. So, enjoy having Connie and Steven being twins and PeeDeexConnie all one of you. ;) Also the Death Star, had a bit of trouble with that, so I came up with this idea that it's a full body ship, like if the Warships are arms then the big ship is a full body, though in my mind it just has the outline, like it doesn't have individual fingers or any details.Stevonnie is still number one SU ship.





	Gem Wars: Episode IV- A New Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This is Fair Use. Parodying falls under fair use. Star Wars was created by George Lucas and is owned by Disney and Lucas Film. Steven Universe is owned by Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...

It is a period of civil war. Crystal Gem spaceships,

striking from a hidden base, have won their first

victory against the evil Homeworld Empire.

 

During the battle, Crystal Gem spies managed to steal

secret plans to Homeworld's ultimate weapon, the

Diamond Star, an armored space station with enough

power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by Homeworld's sinister agents, Princess

Connie races home aboard her starship, custodian of

the stolen plans that can save her people and

restore freedom to the galaxy...

* * *

 

The awesome red planet of Mars emerges from a total eclipse, her two moons glowing against the darkness. A tiny silver spacecraft, a Crystal Gem Blockade Runner firing lasers from the back of the ship, races through space. It is pursed by a giant Homeworld Gem Warship which for some reason looks an arm and a hand. Hundreds of deadly laserbolts streak from the Imperial Stardestroyer, causing the main solar fin of the Rebel craft to disintegrate.

An explosion rocks the ship as two robots, Oni-On (ON-ON) and Sour-Creem (S-CREM) struggle to make their way through the shaking, bouncing passageway. Both robots are old and battered. ON is a short, claw-armed tripod. His face is a mass of computer lights surrounding a radar eye. CRE, on the other hand, is a tall, slender robot of human proportions. He has a gleaming bronze-like metallic surface of an Art Deco design.

Another blast shakes them as they struggle along their way.

* * *

 "Did you hear that? They've shut down the main reactor. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness!"

Crystal Gems troopers rush past the robots and take up positions in the main passageway. They aim their weapons toward the door.

"We're doomed!"

The little ON unit makes a series of electronic sounds that only another robot could understand.

 "There'll be no escape for the Princess this time."

ON continues making beeping sounds. Tension mounts as loud metallic latches clank and the scream of heavy equipment are heard moving around the outside hull of the ship.

 "What's that?"

* * *

  
The Homeworld craft has easily overtaken the Crystal Gem Blockade Runner. The smaller Rebel ship is being drawn into the underside dock of the giant Imperial starship.

The nervous Crystal Gem troopers aim their weapons. Suddenly a tremendous blast opens up a hole in the main passageway and a score of fearsome armored Amethyst soldiers make their way into the smoke-filled corridor.

In a few minutes the entire passageway is ablaze with laserfire engery bolts strong enough to poof a Gem back ito her gem, it hit directly at a gem it will crack it or shatter it with the more powerful weapons. The deadly bolts ricochet in wild random patterns creating huge explosions. Amethyst soldiers scatter and duck behind storage lockers. Laserbolts hit several Crystal Gems who poof and shatter through the smoke, holding shattered gem shards.

An explosion hits near the robots.

"I should have known better than to trust the logic of a half-sized thermocapsulary dehousing assister..."

ON counters with an angry rebuttal as the battle rages around the two hapless robots.

* * *

 

 

A death-white wasteland stretches from horizon to horizon. The tremendous heat of two huge twin suns settle on a lone figure, Steven Universe, a farm boy with heroic aspirations who looks much younger than his eighteen years. His rose shaped hair and baggy tunic give him the air of a simple but lovable lad with a prize-winning smile.

A light wind whips at him as he adjusts several valves on a large battered moisture vaporator which sticks out of the desert floor much like an oil pipe with valves. He is aided by a beatup tread-robot with six claw arms. The little robot appears to be barely functioning and moves with jerky motions. A bright sparkle in the morning sky catches Steven's eye and he instinctively grabs a pair of electrobinoculars from his utility belt. He stands transfixed for a few moments studying the heavens, then dashed toward his dented, crudely repaired Landspeeder (an auto-like transport that travels a few feet above the ground on a magnetic-field). He motions for the tiny robot to follow him.

"Hurry up! Come with me! What are you waiting for?! Get in gear!"

The robot scoots around in a tight circle, stops short, and smoke begins to pour out of every joint. Steven throws his arms up in disgust. Exasperated, the young farm boy jumps into his Landspeeder leaving the smoldering robot to hum madly.

* * *

The awesome, seven-foot-tall Dark Gem of Homeworld makes her way into the blinding light of the main passageway. This is Darth Quartz, right hand of Pink Diamond. Her face is obscured by her flowing black robes and grotesque breath mask, which stands out next to the fascist armored suits of the Homeworld Amethysts. Everyone instinctively backs away from the imposing warrior and a deathly quiet sweeps through the Crystal Gem troops. Several of the Crystal Gem troops break and run in a frenzied panic.

A woman's hand puts a card into an opening in ON's dome. ON makes beeping sounds.

CREM stands in a hallway, somewhat bewildered. ON is nowhere in sight. The pitiful screams of the doomed Rebel soldiers can be heard in the distance.

 "ON! ON-ON, where are you?"

A familiar clanking sound attacks CREM's attention and he spots little ON at the end of the hallway in a smoke- filled alcove. A beautiful young girl (about sixteen years old) stands in front of ON. Surreal and out of place, dreamlike and half hidden in the smoke, she finishes adjusting something on ON's computer face, then watches as the little robot joins his companion.

"At last! Where have you been?"

Homeworld Amethysts can be heard battling in the distance.

"They're heading in this direction. What are we going to do? We'll be sent to the spice mine of Detroit or smashed into who knows what!"

ON scoots past his bronze friend and races down the subhallway. CREM chases after him.

"Wait a minute, where are you going?"

Artoo responds with electronic maws.

* * *

 

The evil Darth Quartz stands amid the broken and twisted bodies of her foes. She grabs a wounded Crystal Gem Officer by the neck where her gem is located as an Homeworld Agate rushes up to the Dark Gem.

 "The Diamond Star plans are not in the main computer."

Quartz squeezes the neck of the Crystal Gem Officer, who struggles in vain.

"Where are those transmissions you intercepted?"

Quartz lifts the Gem off her feet by his throat.

"What have you done with those plans?"

"We intercepted no transmissions. Aaah... This is a consular ship. Were on a diplomatic mission."

"If this is a consular ship... were is the Ambassador?"

The Cystal Gem refuses to speak but eventually cries out as the Dark Gem begins to squeeze the officer's throat, creating a gruesome snapping and choking, until the gem poofs. Quatz tosses the shards of the gem against the wall and turns to his troops.

 "Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans and bring me the Ambassador. I want her alive!"

The Amethysts scurry into the subhallways.

* * *

 The lovely young girl huddles in a small alcove as the Amethysts search through the ship. She is Princess Connie Maheswaren, a member of the Wilmington Senate. The fear in her eyes slowly gives way to anger as the muted crushing sounds of the approaching Amethysts grow louder. One of the troopers spots her.

"There she is! Set for stun!"

Connie steps from her hiding place and blasts a trooper with her laser pistol. She starts to run but is felled by a paralyzing ray. The troopers inspect her inert body.

"She'll be all right. Inform Lord Quartz we have a prisoner."

* * *

 

On stops before the small hatch of an emergency lifepod. He snaps the seal on the main latch and a red warning light begins to flash. The stubby astro-robot works his way into the cramped four-man pod.

"Hey, you're not permitted in there. It's restricted. You'll be deactivated for sure.."

ON maws something to him.

"Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease! Now come out before somebody sees you."

On maws something at his reluctant friend regarding the mission he is about to perform.

"Secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there!"

ON isn't happy with CREMS's stubbornness, and he maws and maws angrily.

A new explosion, this time very close, sends dust and debris through the narrow subhallway. Flames lick at CREM and, after a flurry of electronic swearing from ON, the lanky robot jumps into the lifepod.

"I'm going to regret this."

* * *

 

On the main viewscreen, the lifepod carrying the two terrified robots speeds away from the stricken Crystal Gem spacecraft.

"There goes another one."

"Hold your fire. There are no Gem signals. It must have been short- circuited."

* * *

ON and CREM look out at the receding Homeworld starship. Stars circle as the pod rotates through the galaxy.

"That's funny, the damage doesn't look as bad from out here."

ON maws an assuring response.

"Are you sure this things safe?"

**Author's Note:**

> If I forgot to change something please tell me
> 
> Link to transcript: http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Star-Wars-A-New-Hope.html
> 
> Because there are no cannon terrain vehicles from homeworld in SU Landspeeders and such are going to be the same.
> 
> Wilmington is in Delaware which is the state that Delmarva is spoofing.
> 
> ROSE IS VADER BECAUSE I WANTED HER TO BE DAMMIT FUCK YOU :P
> 
> ONION IS R2 BECAUSE HE IS SMALL AND AN ASSHOLE AND CUTE AF!


End file.
